True, Truer, Truest

“The kind of truth that matters does not make itself known to those who shout for it to come out and then try to batter down the door. The truth that matters must trust us before we can have a relationship with it.” Parker, The Promise of Paradox

I celebrate disappointment. My disappointments met as a Spiritual Friend are openings to other possibilities, to something Spirit-handed. I trust this place of disappointment and discouragement as a threshold and doorway to what can emerge. I wanted “this”, but got “that.” This is true. Truer yet is that something always waits on the other side of the threshold of our disappointments. Truest is that our reliance and faithfulness on our inner and creative works bring forth our true nature and our authenticity. Having not given up, we can feed well from the aquifers of true self through our faithfulness as we meet up with another threshold in life.

On my recent writing retreat at Solitude Ridge outside of Lacrosse, I received some discouraging news.

I was not accepted or recognized for some work, in fact I was discouraged from pursuing a book idea any further. My writerly soul spoke up and used this disappointment as a threshold to understand what it is I truly want. The thing was, there I sat working on this book, alone on retreat, and had just written a piece on faithfulness and on not giving up. Yes, I felt the edge of disappointment, big time. But more so I sense Spirit’s hand in all this. What I want most is to live in integrity, trust spirit and continue to reach the depths and heights I can in my spiritual practice and in my writing vocation. I expected a particular agent to fall in love with my book. She didn’t. I couldn’t seem to put to rest my attachment to be read, to be “successful” with my books. Even so, I also couldn’t stop writing them; it’s my truest way of life. But, I wondered and explored (alone as I was) if the hand of Spirit wasn’t reminding me to just do the work for works sake. Wasn’t this what my soul wanted?, to rejoice in the creativity of writing, to be internally motivated rather than outwardly so? This disappointment became wholly worthwhile because it took me one step closer to expressing my truest calling: to benefit others through my creative and spiritual endeavors.

On my way out of my home to take this retreat, I grabbed John O’Donohue’s book, ANAM CARA, where this quote is contained: “In the neglected crevices and corners of your evaded solitude, you will find the treasure that you have always sought elsewhere.”

If you are interested in gathering with other writers in retreat, or for a monthly writers’ circle, or receive a Tarot reading by a masterful psychologist and Joy coach, or, you want to check the on-line classes I offer through the UW, Madison Continuing Studies, check out my website:  http://www.julietallardjohnson.com       Oh, and I still have room for YOU in the up coming retreat and class at Write-By-The-Lake! Five days of honoring your writerly soul.